Fangs

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Starring: Corbin Bernsen
Rated: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Type: DVD
Directed By: Kelly Sandefur
Studio: Lions Gate
Release Date: 2002-09-24

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"Fangs" is toothless
I wasn't expecting much from "Fangs". I believe this is another Sci-Fi Channel original movie (if it's not, it sure feels like one). I was hoping for a goofy distraction, something along the lines of "Mega Snake" or "Snakehead Terror". But, "Fangs" is really lousy. The basic storyline should be familiar to horror fans who've seen a fair share of creature features. Mad-scientist breeds deadly new species of animal (bats in this case), something goes wrong and his experiment is set free causing mayhem in small town America, usually just when the small town is getting ready for some seasonal event which will put the general population in jeopardy (apple blossom festival in this case). The hero tries to warn the township of the impending disaster only to be thwarted by those in charge due to monetary reasons (realtor and crooked cop in this case). Hero then resorts to unusual means to stop the menace, call that the "MacGyver" effect.
It's a pretty standard formula which has been used since "Jaws" first made the premise a gold standard. But "Fangs" fails on almost every level. There is an unusual plot twist in that someone is using the nasty critters to commit planned murders as opposed to random attacks, but any interest in who the mysterious murderer may be is quickly lost. The cast of usually dependable character actors is given almost nothing to do, and all parties seemed to be embarrassed to be taking part in the proceedings. There is no gore, no profanity, no nudity, so this is a kid-friendly horror flick, but it's just too boring to keep their interest. The one shining part of "Fangs" are the bats themselves. While they are most likely CGI generated effects, they are done well in the 2 or 3 scenes where they are clearly visible. It's just a shame the effect was used in such a lousy film.

Death By Flappy Wings And Bitey Teeth...
FANGS is a pretty good little mutant-bats-attack movie. The tiny town of Scottsville is besieged by the fuzzy flappers, much to the chagrin of Mr. Hart (Corbin Bernsen from The Dentist 1 and 2), who sees the onslaught as a severe setback for his real estate empire. Whip Hubley is the local veterinarian, and Tracy Nelson plays the cop. Together, they attempt to deduce what is behind a string of grisly deaths. I like this hokey hunk of cheezy goo! Even w/ no nudity, only slight violence, and nary a cuss-word, FANGS manages to be entertaining. And the CGI bats are fairly life-like! FANGS even has Dennis Fimple (Creature Of Black Lake) as a farmer! If that's not enough, there's a twist ending to boot! Enjoy...

The Attack of the Mutant Flittermice
The film begins at a university. Two young women are in a science laboratory where bats are kept for scientific study. Can anything go wrong with blood-sucking bats? The Professor makes a deal with his students. What could happen if the bats escape from their cages? What about the laws about importing foreign species? The background to this story is how a small town changed in a few years with the influx of thousands of families. [A foreign species?] The janitor meets the blood-sucking bats and says goodbye. [Were there similar influxes of new people to small towns in the 19th century? Yes, but it was desirable then.]

The animal control officer shows up at the crime scene. He must investigate the missing bats. The young beautiful homicide investigator doesn't like him. [One of the oldest movie cliches?] There are comic touches to this "horror" film, which is not based on any supernatural happenings. The heavyweight armed guard finds some trespassers at a house under construction. The builder wants to keep bad news out of the newspapers, even if he has to stop his advertising. [Just like in "Jaws".] There is a scene that recalls "The Birds". Poor doggy! The humor is subtle again, it doesn't preach. Can there be a murder without a murder weapon, a witness, a suspect, or a motive? Then it must be a natural and peaceful death, says the Police Chief. There is nothing here that can alarm tourists or home-buyers.

What caused this to happen? [No mention of `global warming' in this film.] There is a scene where a red flare is ignited. Do bats fear lights? Because they would be easy prey for hawks and owls? Will the evil landowner and his crooked sheriff evict an old man from his ancestral farm? [Does this remind you of those old westerns?] A flashing red light attracts the killer bats. Could genetic engineering have produced an undesired side effect? The film shows how politics can affect a police investigation. [Is this only true in films?] The "Apple Blossom Dance" provides a venue for a classic showdown. [Does this remind you of "Buffy"?] That mysterious stranger is outside the auditorium.

Then the bats attack the crowd at the dance. Will pieces of cut up aluminum cans work a miracle? "Chaff" works in this movie, its in the script. The crowd flees in a panic. Somebody is arranging things to cause a bat attack. This is not an accident! [Surprised?] There is a clue to the villain, then a scene shows who it is. What can happen if a banker forecloses on a loan and cheats a man out of his land? Will it lead to murder? The special effects provide a climax to this story. Of course there is a happy ending that is also funny.

This film does not have the horror of the classic films from the 1930s (during the Great Depression). It does have its comic spots, and as a social satire. The story lost its bite because of the need to keep a PG-13 rating. "Love at First Bite" was a funnier film.

Fangs don't bite
"Fangs" is a borderline movie,attempting to be a horror movie,but trying its hand at comedy at the same time. The mousy detective and the handsome animal control officer (with a ditzy teenaged daughter) try to solve the mystery of killer bats and save the Apple Blossom Festival. Corbin Bernsen stars as a sleazy real estate developer.

"Fangs" has its funny moments. The bats look toothless,and it isn't gory. In trying comedy and horror,it fails (spectacularly) at both.

Three stars: Fun, but you have to be in the mood
There is a scene in the movie in which a teenager reports that a police officer could not issue a speeding ticket because the teenager had too many aluminum cans on his dashboard, thus rendering the officer's radar ineffective. This news gives the films heroes, officer Ally Parks (Tracy Nelson) and veterinarian John Winslow (Whip Hubley), a brilliant idea. If they cut up lots of aluminum cans, they can use them to jam the bats' radar and save lots of lives.

A purist might wonder what good jamming radar does when bats rely on sonar, and if you're such a purist, this film is not for you. On the other hand, if implausibilities such as this don't bother you too much, this film has something to offer, in large part because it's not Bats. "Fangs," by contrast, does not seem to take itself too seriously, is thoroughly derivative of other films in the heavily-mined animals-run-amok sub-genre (e.g., Slugs, Squirm, and Slither, and those are just the S titles), and has two lead actors who are fun to watch.

The bare-bones outline of "Fangs" is familiar enough. A small town finds itself terrorized by a particularly nasty form of a familiar creature, here bats that have been genetically modified. The powers that be, real-estate developer Carl Hart (Corbin Bernsen) and police chief Sam Taylor (Michael Gregory), naturally oppose any sensible effort to rid the town of its problem, so the young duo of Parks and Winslow must go it alone. Not surprisingly, they begin to develop a romantic interest. In short, there's nothing new here.

Still, "Fangs" is fun in its way, especially because the leads Hubley and Nelson are likable and their relationship fun. As long as you're not expecting anything on the order of classic films like Jaws or The Birds, "Fangs" is an enjoyable film to watch while sharing a bowl of popcorn with the family. (And this film is appropriate for the family. I am not certain, but I do not recall any profanity, and there certainly was no nudity. The violence is minimal, consisting almost entirely of people swatting away bats.)